We are a unique species, aren’t we? Not humans. Indians, I mean. No other race speaks or spells like we do.
Take greetings for example.
A friendly clerk asking me for my name is apt to start a conversation with, “What is your good name?” As if I hold that sort of information close to my heart and only divulge my evil pseudonym. Bizarre.
I call these Indianisms.
Which got me thinking about a compilation, a greatest hits of the most hilarious Indianisms out there. And here they are. The most common ones, and my favorites among them.
1. 'Passing out'When you complete your studies at an educational institution, you graduate from that institution.
You do not "pass out" from that institution.
To "pass out" refers to losing consciousness, like after you get too drunk, though I’m not sure how we managed to connect graduating and intoxication.
Oh wait … of course, poor grades throughout the year could lead to a sudden elation on hearing you’ve passed all of your exams, which could lead to you actually "passing out," but this is rare at best.
2. 'Kindly revert'One common mistake we make is using the word revert to mean reply or respond.
Revert means "to return to a former state."
I can’t help thinking of a sarcastic answer every time this comes up.
“Please revert at the earliest.”
“Sure, I’ll set my biological clock to regress evolutionarily to my original primitive hydrocarbon state at 1 p.m. today."
3. 'Years back'If it happened in the past, it happened years ago, not "years back."
Given how common this phrase is, I’m guessing the first person who switched "ago" for "back" probably did it years back. See what I mean?
And speaking of "back," asking someone to use the backside entrance sounds so wrong.
“So when did you buy this car?”
“Oh, years back.”
“Cool, can you open the backside? I’d like to get a load in.”
4. 'Doing the needful'Try to avoid using the phrase "do the needful." It went out of style decades ago, about the time the British left.
Using it today indicates you are a dinosaur, a dinosaur with bad grammar.
You may use the phrase humorously, to poke fun at such archaic speech, or other dinosaurs.
“Will you do the needful?”
“Of course, and I’ll send you a telegram to let you know it's done too.”
5. 'Discuss about'“What shall we discuss about today?”
“Let’s discuss about politics. We need a fault-ridden topic to mirror our bad grammar.”
You don't "discuss about" something; you just discuss things.
The word "discuss" means to "talk about". There is no reason to insert the word "about" after "discuss."
That would be like saying "talk about about." Which "brings about" me to my next peeve.
6. 'Order for'"Hey, let’s order for a pizza."
"Sure, and why not raid a library while we’re about it.”
When you order something, you "order" it, you do not "order for" it.
Who knows when or why we began placing random prepositions after verbs?
Perhaps somewhere in our history someone lost a little faith in the "doing" word and added "for" to make sure their order would reach them. They must have been pretty hungry.
7. 'Do one thing'When someone approaches you with a query, and your reply begins with the phrase "do one thing," you're doing it wrong.
"Do one thing" is a phrase that does not make sense.
It is an Indianism. It is only understood in India. It is not proper English. It is irritating.
There are better ways to begin a reply. And worst of all, any person who starts a sentence with "do one thing" invariably ends up giving you at least five things to do.
“My computer keeps getting hung.”
“Do one thing. Clear your history. Delete your cookies. Defrag your hardrive. Run a virus check. Restart your computer... .”
8. 'Out of station'“Sorry I can’t talk right now, I’m out of station.”
“What a coincidence, Vijay, I’m in a station right now.”
Another blast from the past, this one, and also, extremely outdated.
What's wrong with "out of town" or "not in Mumbai" or my favorite "I'm not here"?
9. The big sleep"I’m going to bed now, sleep is coming."
"OK, say hi to it for me."
While a fan of anthropomorphism, I do have my limits. "Sleep is coming" is taking things a bit too far.
Your life isn’t a poem. You don’t have to give body cycles their own personalities.
10. 'Prepone'“Let’s prepone the meeting from 11 a.m. to 10 a.m.”
Because the opposite of postpone just has to be prepone, right?
"Prepone" is probably the most famous Indianism of all time; one that I’m proud of, and that I actually support as a new entry to all English dictionaries.
Because it makes sense. Because it fills a gap. Because we need it. We’re Indians, damn it. Students of chaos theory.
We don’t have the time to say silly things like "could you please bring the meeting forward."
Prepone it is.
There are many more pure grammatical "gems" in what we call Indian English. Perhaps in time I’ll list some more. And perhaps in the near future, we’ll get better at English.
Till then, kindly adjust.
Yes, it is a fact that we speak wrong pharses or sentences.This I came to know when I came down to USA.
Passing out , in real sense says, to become unconcious.We say, he paased out from 12th grade.That is wrong English.
When someone is Vomitting, people here never says, vomitting, they say...she /he is throwing out.
So, as I read this article, I thougth I should paste it here for readers to understand how bad we speak English.
I donno, but I am an avid reader of Internet and even books which varies to various subjects and maybe that is the reason I am able to write on many things .Offlate I have not been able to read much other then stock market but I still read something that catch my eyes on internet.........
Yes, but I have a liking for watching movies, watching Cricket matches,listening songs but let me write here that IPL that is played in India has never influenced me to watch it even for 5 mins as I feel that is not a standard of internatinal level.I always feel that IPL is fancied only because film star comes there to support their team and peope are able to see their favourite star on the ground.
Though I have not played any Tennis but I was an avid watcher of Tennis games and in perticular the Wimbledon.I like the pace and the force at which Tennis is played at Wimbledon.
The reason there is pace and force is because it is played on grass court.So if you can't take the serve of the opposite player you lose.Lately I stopped watching Wimbledon because there is no compitition.The players like Bjorn Borg , Boris Becker,Stephen Edberg, Jimmy Connors,Ivan Lendl, Pat Cash,Mats Wilander are missing.The competition at that time was big.
I remember Ivan Lendl never won Wimbledon Championship and he wanted it so badly.
Once he spoke, take my US open championsship and give me Wimbledon.
There was something extraordinary in each players.
Ivan Lendl won US Championship for many times but Wimbledon was eluding him.US open is played on Flusing Meadow, French Open is played on Ronald Garros and clay court and Mats Winlander was the Champion there.He will not let anyone win there.
In Tennis, the Grand Slam consist of 4 championship.Austrailian Open, French Open, Wimbledon and US Open.
When Wimbledon was played in that time there was always a suspense.Who will win it.
Stephen Edberg from Sweden was an excellent player.Very cool.Never argue for line calls.Well I can't forget to mention John Mcenore from US.Excellent player and always fight with umpire at Wimbledon for line calls.But he was a brilliant player.Lateron he said he use to argue the verdict of umpires for line calls to disturb opposite player......but he was a great player to watch.Then Boris Becker from Germany comes out of blue and wins the Wimbledon at a very tender age of 16 or 17.It was a treat to watch Boris Becker.
First tournament start with Australian Open, then comes French Open, then comes Wimbledon at centre court and then the last at Flushing Meadow as US Open.Means that is how it is played one after another.
I have seen Mats Winlendar playing on and on and winning French Open as many times.Ivan Lendl winnig US open as many times,Bjorn Borg winning wimbledon as many times which was a record in itself but then it was broken by Pat Samprass.But I never was impressed by Pat Samprass.Ofcorse he was an excellent player but to me he was not tested against strong players.
Well, If I do not write on woman player I am sure some woman bloggers will not like it.....lol
So let me write on them as well.
The best I saw was Billy Gin King , Christ Evert Llyod, Martina Navratilova and that time there was a superb excellent looking player named Gabriela Sabatini from Argentina.
Then came Steffi Graf and she toppled everyone and became top ranked player for many years and then still I use to see the game of Monica Seles who was a beautiful player and won many Grand Slam tournament but was injured when someone stabbed a knife on her back .
Then around same time there came Martina Hingis a very excellent player and played excellently on grass court at Wimbledon as well......
Well friends, I went on and on in Tennis and looks like I will never come out from it.So better I end here.......
I know many readers must be surprised about my interest in various part of games and life and many would feel that how I am able to do that.But that is how I am.I love to enjoy everything which comes in life.
I can talk on and on in any subject for hours togather.